


If You Can't Hold On, Hold On

by AlexandriaBo



Category: Naruto
Genre: Character Death, Confession, Love, M/M, Sad, Suicide, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 02:51:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6686209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexandriaBo/pseuds/AlexandriaBo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Itachi and Shisui have their last conversation, but this one is a little different, a little sadder. There are some things they each want the other to know now that this is the end, before it's goodbye forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Can't Hold On, Hold On

Itachi almost couldn’t believe what he was looking at, but on the other hand, with just how corrupt everything was in the village right now, he told himself he shouldn’t be so surprised. With Shisui stood before him in this battered and wounded condition, it struck a pain in his heart seeing his best friend this way. Always, always Shisui had been this guiding light for Itachi, a shoulder to lean on, someone to rely on and trust in completely. As far was Itachi was concerned, he believed Shisui to be the strongest person he knew, not only in the Uchiha clan, but in the entire village. Yet, here he was, bruised and the weakest he has ever been.

Knowing Danzo was the one to do this to Shisui, Itachi could feel his nerves itching with anger. How could Danzo merely contemplate doing something like this, commit such a treacherous act, especially against someone who also wanted to protect the Hidden Leaf? Was the man that mad, that deranged to steal another human beings eyes for his own achievement? As Shisui stood here before Itachi, however, it seemed people would go to any extreme to fulfill their own agenda.

“Come back to the village with me,” Itachi said, “We’ll inform the Third Hokage, I know he’ll do something about Danzo.”

Shisui’s breath was shallow as he stood before Itachi, and it appeared as though he was using what strength he had to merely stand, but not even his current state could keep the warm smile from his face. “No,” he shook his head, “Its okay, Itachi. Lord Third is already very aware of how fraudulent Danzo is, so it’s only a matter of time before his actions catch up with him.”

“Shisui, look what he’s done to you,” Itachi took a step forward, not noticing how the shinobi before him also took a step back closer to the edge of the cliff they were near. “He stole your sharingan for his own benefit. There’s no telling what he could use it for.” _That was a lie…_ Itachi knew very well what Danzo’s plans were, and they had everything to do with ending the misconduct and even existence of the Uchiha clan, and while Itachi understood the man’s upset, he has crossed a fine line that Itachi wanted to see treated. Besides, Itachi already believed Danzo to be more than unhinged, so a sharingan in his possession only spoke of more trouble for the Leaf. “He has to pay, Shisui,” the shaken shinobi said, “He must be held responsible for what he’s done to you!” 

“Itachi,” Shisui said calmly, the rumbling waterfall behind him making his voice sound even softer than it was, “Do you remember what I said to you when we were younger?”

“You’ve said a lot of things to me.”

“I will never, ever betray you,” Shisui said, and his soft smile grew mildly. “Do you remember when I told you that?”

“Of course,” Itachi moved his eyes down, watching as the grass swayed lightly in the breeze. “How could I forget?”

“I guess that was a silly question, but…Itachi…I want you to know that I will always keep that promise to you. Ever since we met, for all time we’ve spent together, whether it be training to become stronger or doing nothing at all, I want you to know I enjoyed every second of it. You’ve meant so much to me as we grew up, and it makes me proud to see just how far you’ve come in your training. There is no doubt in my mind that you will surpass me…have already surpassed me.”

Itachi was both unnerved and endeared by Shisui’s words. This – this sounded like Shisui, unafraid to say all that was on his mind, but the manner in which he spoke, Itachi couldn’t help but think that this was his version of…goodbye. “Shi-Shisui, what are you saying? There’s no way I could ever exceed you.”

“Itachi, look at me, I’m beaten, I’m missing an eye. While I’m stood here in this wounded state, you’re scratch free, in one piece, and that makes me happy.”

Squeezing his fists together tightly, Itachi shook his head, resisting the sting of tears in his eyes. He couldn’t’ cry, he couldn’t show this side of himself, not even to Shisui. “You’re saying goodbye,” he said, meeting the other boy’s gaze when he finally caught his breath. And then when he registered why his best friend was standing so close to the edge of the cliff, Itachi’s heart pounded harder in his chest. “Not like this Shisui, you can’t go out like this.”

Shisui huffed a laugh, able to hear it in Itachi’s voice that he was having a hard time keeping his tone as leveled as it always was. “What am I supposed to do? Go out in a blaze of glory? That’s not me, Itachi, that’s not how I work. Besides, I know you are strong enough, smart enough to know what has to come next for the sake of the Hidden Leaf. After tonight, you’ll be the most capable of doing so.”

“Not without you, Shisui,” Itachi’s voice stammered almost unnoticeably. “We can – we can do this together. Finish this, and then we can–.”

“Run away?” Shisui asked, “Live happily ever after with just each other, with the weight of a Rouge Ninja on our backs? I can’t carry that title, Itachi.”

“But I can?”

“I’m sorry you think as though I am abandoning you this way, but you will come to understand that this, my death, is what will further the cause. You are the only one who can do this, Itachi. I know it.”

“Suicide is selfish, Shisui.”

Shisui grinned almost cheekily at the argument, “I guess, in some ways, in some situations that’s true, but not this one. I know what I’m doing.”

“Then you know now much this hurts,” Itachi stated, gripping a hand over his heart.

“I’m sorry.”

Already able to see the plan Shisui had, Itachi began to understand that this was something that would assist in stopping the conflict that was bound to come soon. He just wished so much that there was another way, a way that wouldn’t take one of the most important people in his life away. Everyone always thought that Uchiha Itachi was an unbreakable young man, but he knew for himself that there were things that had the power to tear him down, and seeing Shisui before him this way was one of those things. “At least…” Itachi tried to keep his emotions in check, “…at least listen to me before…before you go.”

“I’m listening.”

Where do I start? Itachi wondered, from the beginning? No, that would take too long, and there wasn’t much time left. He wished to somehow have the power to freeze time, to sit down with Shisui to get this out, to get this last important confession off of his chest, but he was running out of time, and if he was going to lose his best friend, he wanted to have the chance for Shisui to know everything. Everything.

“I – I love you, Shisui,” Itachi said with a stammer, and though he tried with all he had to keep the stoic, unmoved hold he usually had over his body, there was nothing he could do to hide the sentiment in his voice. “Ever since we were children, even before I knew what it was, what these feelings were that I had, I loved you. And I still do."

Itachi looked up when a light sound of laughter came from Shisui, and when he looked up, the one-eyed shinobi was peering at him through the only eye he could see from.

“Does that humor you?” Itachi asked, embarrassed by his own admission. “Do you think it’s humorous that your disciple developed a foolish school-girl crush?"

“Love is much more than a school-girl crush, Itachi, and, no, I don’t think it’s the least bit funny. I just find it amusing that all humans seem to gain the courage to do things they once feared when they know they’re running out of time. However, since we’re getting things off our chest at the worst time, I guess I should let you know that I’ve felt the same since we were kids.” Shisui breathed in deeply and then let it out in a long sigh. “I only wish our situation was different, maybe then I would take you up on that offer of running away.”

Given even his true feelings weren’t enough to persuade Shisui from stepping away from the ledge, Itachi guessed there was no more reason for him to hold back. “I’ve loved you with all I have, Shisui,” he said, “And as the years went on, my feelings only grew as strong as you trained me to be. I only ever dreamed of telling you sooner. If there is anything I can say,” he could feel his solid barrier nearly ready to break down, “please, tell me what it is.”

“There is nothing you could say to bring me away from the decisions I’ve made, but there is one other thing I want you to know. Never waver, Itachi,” the near blind shinobi said, “Never waver in the goals you set for yourself. Always remain true to the mission no matter how difficult you think doing so is. Like tonight, you love me…I love you, too, Itachi, always have, and it does my heart good to see the young man you are growing into. But even with my feelings, what’s best for the village and the clan is much more important than us. I, too, have dreamed before that there was a future out there for us…but that’s not true anymore. I can’t go on, Itachi. Forgive me.”

A tear trailed down Itachi’s cheek when and he cursed the small drop, especially after more and more began to course down his face. This was it, this was what it felt like to feel utterly broken. “Before you go,” Itachi reached out, and when Shisui didn’t draw away from him, he progressed, tucking himself into the older shinobi’s embrace as weakened arms softly embraced him. “Just let me…” Itachi whispered into the fabric of Shisui’s collar, “…please.”

Shisui smiled to himself feeling Itachi so close and in his arms. This was really it, the last time he would see, smell, touch the person he loved and admired so dearly. Unconsciously, his fingers traced through the silk strands of Itachi’s hair, always so long and he thought he was simply beautiful. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, “I’m sorry this couldn’t be different for us.”

Itachi closed his arms tighter around Shisui, never wanting this moment to end, and when he looked up into the single eye gazing down at him, there was no longer any self-control that stopped him from doing what he’s always wanted to. Cupping Shisui’s face in his tender hands, Itachi didn’t hesitate to press their lips together. It was a soft, delicate kiss, and when Itachi felt as Shisui’s tongue sashayed across his bottom lip, his mouth parted ever so slightly to allow the caress. Itachi closed his arms around the top of the other shinobi’s neck then, feeling as his body was fully embrace. The warmth of their closeness drained away the chill in the air, and all there was surrounding them was the rush of the waterfall.

“I love you,” Itachi confessed again, bring their lips together for a second time. “So much.”

“I love you, too, Itachi,” Shisui said, and when the embrace was broken, he stepped back, pushing Itachi a couple steps away from him. "Never forget what I said, never forget what we have.” He dug two fingers painfully into his left eye, but he was able to refrain from showing just how much it hurt. Holding the eye out to Itachi, he said, “You’re the only one I can count on, my best friend. Protect the village and the Uchiha name.” And then Shisui took his final step back, becoming weightless as he went over the high ledge. “If I die, many things will change. I’ve left a note.”

“Shisui!” Itachi gasped, reaching out in hopes of catching him.

“Don’t stop me Itachi,” Shisui smiled, “if you’re truly my friend."

“Shisui!”

Shutting his eyes so he wouldn’t see the aftermath below, Itachi felt as the tears of blood for the loss of his friend, his love, streamed down his cheek, and just then, a major pulse was felt in his eyes, his own Mangekyo Sharingan awakened. And it was in that moment that Itachi knew what he had to do. Shisui’s death would not be in vain, he would be sure of that. 


End file.
